Ohr Kodesh jokemeister supreme, Phil Schulman, had them rolling in the aisles on Tuesday, March 2 for his one-night-only Pledge 25 offering, “What Do You Mean You Can’t Tell A Joke?”
Phil told the packed chapel crowd, “If you came here humorously challenged, you will leave here humorously challenged!” However, he said, “If you follow these ideas, at least you’ll tell a joke better than when you came in.”
Phil added to the Pledge 25 theme of study by offering an opportunity for "text study." A copy is at this link: https://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B-Cb3y82429bNmRkOGRhODItYTkzZC00Y2NlLTljMTUtNzE5ZDU0MDNhZDA4&hl=en
Phil illustrated each of his points with a joke, ranging from amusing to hysterical to rolling-on-the floor, please-make-him-stop funny. There was, of course, a “serious” side to Phil, as he explained the keys to telling a joke: the set up, the anticipation, and the punch line. Or, a beginning (“how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?”), a middle (“one”), and an end (“but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to really want to change!”). He explained that telling a joke is like a magic trick – it all depends on misdirection.
Before offering his "Top Ten Do’s and Don’ts" for telling a joke successfully, he invited audience members to offer their own efforts. All (well, most) were at least in the “amusing” category!
Phil explained that “Telling jokes well is important, because people love to laugh, and they love people who make them laugh.” We love you, Phil, for making us laugh.
Commenters to the posting are asked to leave a joke to share!
There comes a time in every Jewish man's life when he must stand up tall and tell his parents that he uis an adult. This usually happens Around age 45.
ReplyDeleteThanks Phil!
Here's one which is a little "naughty" and should not be told on the bimah:
ReplyDeleteBob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'
Here’s one we heard on our recent trip to India where Gandhi-ji is revered by everyone in the diverse, populous, nearly 63 year old nation. Mahatma walked nearly everywhere on the sub-continent almost never wearing shoes. Almost none of varied terrain is barefoot-friendly, and the great man developed deep calluses on both feet. He never complained. An ascetic and vegetarian, he ate little, and his digestion suffered. Yet, people--so thrilled to be in his presence—paid no mind of his horrid bad bread. He is held as a paragon by old and young, Muslim, Hindu, Jain, and Christian, citizens and visitors. Why? Because he was a super callused, fragile mystic, plagued by halitosis.
ReplyDeleteA man walks into shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here."
ReplyDelete"What do you mean," says the man,"this is a Jewish dog. Look."
And the shammas looks carefully and sees, that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck, this dog has a tallis bag round its neck.
"Rover," says the man, "kipa!".
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head.
"Rover," says the man, "tallis!".
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck.
"Rover," says the man, "daven!"
"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven.
"That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood , get him on television, get him in the movies, he could make millions of dollars!!
"You speak to him," says the man, "he wants to be a doctor."